Was this really what he wanted?What was he thinking? Of course it was. He had spent the last six monthsworking on it. How could he suddenly not want it anymore? He gazed offinto space, swirling the vial of clear liquid. Once he took the plunge,there was no going back. With great mental effort, he pushed the doubtfrom his mind. Resolve filled him; he knew he was meant for this.Standing at his kitchen sink, near the make-shift lab that he had cobbledtogether from bits and pieces of equipment he had stolen from work, hepulled the stopper off the vial. Now exposed to oxygen, the liquid beganto froth, like a can of soda that had been shaken. He tipped the vialslightly, so that the foam spilled out into the sink. Soon, the vialcalmed, and the liquid sat still, albeit with a slightly murkierappearance, like milk mixed with water. He continued to swirl the vial,and the liquid became warm.It was ready.Bracing himself, he took a deep breath, and held it.And held it...And held it...He gasped. Sometimes its hard, I worry about being judged as much as the next girl, but overall - I have chosen to live my life in my own lane. I met my fiance in middle school. Adorable I know. We had the same group of friends and always seemed to find each other at the same parties. Once we got to high school we started to fool around. "Dating" according to our friends, but we were always more vested in the blowjob behind the baseball field - or that fingering session under my parents deck that still gives me chills. We explored all things sex together, sharing firsts and learning little tricks along the way. I loved it, but there was something missing sexually for me. We went off to college and stayed in touch. Breaks from school would consist of seeing him, well, as much as you can see someone when you're getting fucked in the backseat of a civic. That missing piece got larger, I was in a sex only relationship. I knew it was kind of the agreement, but it didn't help much. Something was.
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